Vocation

( 1st half originally written in June 26, 2011)

The word vocation comes from the Latin verb vocare, which means to call.  The term vocation was mainly used by Christians to refer to God's call on an individual, or to a community of people; vocation is now used more in the secular sense to refer to one's occupation.

This past weekend, I shared with a group of Duke undergrads, who are living in community for the summer, my journey into L'Arche and how it helped me to figure out God's call upon my life.  I tried to convey to the students that I see my vocation as a call or an invitation to a certain way of life, or a way of being.  

When I initially lived at L'Arche Daybreak for 10 weeks two summers ago, I knew that I was not done with L'Arche.  That summer at Dybreak helped me let go of false identities and false images of God, and helped me be more open to my brothers and sisters with intellectual disabilities, and those who are defined by our culture as "non-normative."  I also encountered the God of mystery, one that I did not know, and God that was beyond my human understanding. 

I have been at L'Arche DC for three weeks now.  I am still trying to be open to how the Holy Spirit is working in my life and trying to open my heart-mind bit by bit.  My mind initially resisted community life here by comparing L'Arche DC to Daybreak.  I realize now that I have to hold my experiences in Canada gently, so I do not idealize them to the point that they become a hindrance to living out my life here and now at a different L'Arche community.

I would like to close with a quote from Jean Vanier's Community and Growth:

To grow in love is to try each day to welcome, and to be attentive and caring for those whom we have the greatest difficulty; with our 'enemies'; those who are the poorest, the oldest, the weakest, the most demanding, the most ailing; those who are the most marginal in our community, who have the most difficulty conforming to the rules; and finally those who are the youngest.
  

If people are faithful to these four priorities of love then the community as a whole will be an oasis of love.  

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(2nd half written January 8, 2015)

It has been over three and a half years since I wrote the first half of this blog about vocation, and since then I have been doing a whole lot of growing.  I struggle to grow in love, as Jean Vanier defines it, which is to "welcome, and to be attentive and caring to those whom we have the greatest difficulty."  

I have experience with this sort of growth not just with people, but life transitions that redefine or sometimes sheds old identifications.  

I had to adjust my perspective of individuality, when I took vows of marriage in October 26, 2013.  I had to let go of my selfish ways, and realized that my choices and decisions now effect someone else in a very direct way; I had to learn how to share my life and talk through decisions that affected my wife.  

Few months ago, on November 11, 2014, my daughter was born.  The greatest difficulty I have sometimes is realizing that the world doesn't revolve around me, and there is no better teacher in the world than a new born to get you out of your selfishness.  My daughter becomes center stage, and not my own selfish needs and thoughts.  Of course, I say all this with a grain of sand, I need to take care of myself emotionally, spiritually, and physically so I can show up fully for myself and my family.  I am not good to my daughter or my wife, when I am full of fear, resentments, and cranky because I have not eaten all day or taken care of my other needs.  All in all, I am learning to be responsible.  

What does this have to do have to do with vocation?  As I wrote before, the word vocation comes from the Latin verb vocare, which means to call.  God has called me to be a husband, and now a father to my daughter.  I am working on vocation as a profession as well, and hope to eventually follow my calling by exploring hospice chaplaincy.  But for now, I am called to be a stay at home dad and care for my daughter, my wife, and my home.  

I hope to also be a good member of the Religious Society of Friends, more commonly known as Quakers, and "let my life speak" as Quakers say.

A lot of my own vocation has to do with little moments, where I show up to myself and others without any expectations for pay or anything back in return.  I give of myself freely and without expectations, and in that moment I have truly fulfilled my calling.