Unlearning and Learning

"You must unlearn what you have learned," and

"Always pass on what you have learned."

--Yoda

I always found great wisdom coming out of a green puppet in the voice and movements of puppeteer Frank Oz, who also brought Fuzzy Bear to life.  Instead of a puppet, or as the cute yet grumpy green alien of Star Wars, I think of Yoda as a Taoist sage.  Like all other great sages, Yoda speaks in paradoxes and more lies in how he is being than all his sayings and doings.  

Chuck C. wrote in his book, New Pair of Glasses, that the spiritual journey is about "uncovering, discovering, and discarding."  A lot of healing can take place in unlearning or discarding the negative messages we learned as children.  We are also bombarded with an unconscious so i message that our value lies in what we can produce, and not on who we are and how we are being.  The journey of unlearning can thus teach us a lot, and them we can pass on that experience of unlearning to someone else.  In the process of unlearning and discarding some of my old stories, I have learned more and more that I do not have to earn someone's love.  I am loved for me with all my failings, weakness, and strength.  

My wife and I are currently about to embark in radical adventure.  She will be going back to work full time and in two weeks I will stay home and take care of our 2 month year old daughter.  I am really happy with this decision, but I had some butterflies in my stomach as I handed in my 2 weeks notice today.  Who am I as a man if I am not providing financially for my family?  I realize that within that question lies assumptions and values that predate my existence, and it assumes that "work" or being present to someone you love is less valuable than earning a pay check.  I am grateful that some of the unlearning I had to do I discovered at L'Arche, where I experienced a community where a human life is valuable not for his/her capacity for production, but for the natural human need for giving and receiving love.  Some people call L'Arche, the school of the heart; at a L'Arche home I uncovered my own brokenness, and discovered that it's ok to be human.  No community is perfect, but it was a place that helped me grow with its own failings and strengths.  

 I hope my journey with my community of my daughter and my wife will help me be a more full and whole person.  I am also grateful for other communities that I am part of that hold me in the Light.