little moments

"silence of night"

breaths slow

bodies rest

a hushed

silence 

falls

upon

the

world

(Poem I wrote on: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1064653/silence-of-night/)

It's been almost 3 weeks of being a stay at home dad, and I'll have to say that it's the best "job" I've ever had.  Also, I've enjoyed spending days with my wife and daughter, on the week days where she does not have to work; when we were both working, it was difficult to just enjoy the day at a relaxed pace.

I have no deep spiritual reflections to impart or deep wisdom today.  ;). I was more musing about the little moments of silence that inhabit my day.  I am not talking about the silence that comes out of a hurtful word or a deadening silence, but the type of silence that's full of wonder, peace, and leaves you feeling more connected to yourself and the world.

Maybe it's because my days are spent in motion--singing, feeding, playing and walking--that I notice little glimpses of silence.  Sometimes it's an inner silence that comes from deep joy like a surprising moment when my daughter started to really belly laugh for the first time in my company.  The little moments on our walk where I notice the birds singing and move to a music only they can hear as they hop on the ground looking for food.

I live in the city, so actual silence is quite relative.  I hear the hum of tires on pavement outside our window as I put my daughter asleep.  But the hum becomes harmony to the beautiful melody of her quiet little breaths.  As I listen, I become more in touch with my own breath and the beating of my heart.

Some days I am less in tune with the little moments of silence that connects, and it seems I am going from thing to thing in a general state of panic.  Every parent knows the guy wrenching sound of their child crying, I mean really crying, after you've taken care of all their needs.  I feel totally helpless at that moment, but my own experience has thought me if I keep being there with love and calm, my daughter relaxes into my chest.  

I feel sometimes like I am a baby throwing a tantrum, because I wonna.  I push away from a loving parent, but when I relax I can rest in the warmth of a loving Divine Presence and listen to the heart beats of life.  It is strange that when I am in tune with interior silence, the noise of the world seems like less chaotic junk, but a strange music.

I am writing this entry as my daughter gently sleeps on my chest on a Tuesday morning.  Our cat Hermione is cozier up on top of my legs and I can feel her warmth.  I hear my daughter's breathin and I can feel the weight of her gently caressing me.  I am grateful for today and for the gift of being able to receive the day with all its wonder and silence.