Spiritual practices for stay at home parents

I used to have a pretty structure practice of prayer and meditation, i would start my day with prayer and sit in silence on a meditation cushion for 20 minutes to start the day.  I would then do a similar practice in the evening.

When my daughter Winnie was born almost over 3 months a go, I had to learn to pray more fluidly and less on a rigid schedule.  I still try to make time for silence and prayer, and of course we can pray through out the day, but I am talking about the intentional time one takes to make an effort to be quiet and open the heart to God or something greater than ourselves.

I have since college incorporated a meditation practice into my life, which became more on a regular for the past 3 years.  A really helpful practice is walking meditation, which I try to do when I go on walks with my daughter in a carrier.  She is happily passed out on my past.  I focus on my breath, my steps, the warmth of my daughter's body next to mine, and sort of open up.  It helps to start with my own breath, body sensations, before I open up to everything else.  I find this practice grounding, and it helps me to be more centered and grounded as I am being present to my daughter.

If you are Christian, repeating the Jesus Prayer as you walk is really helpful, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me."  It is a simple prayer that's been part of the early Church and still practiced by members of the Eastern Orthodox Church and other traditions.  There's many variations of this prayer, but whichever one you choose, you can incorporate it with your breath.

When I was a practicing Catholic, I used to pray the rosary on my walks and that was really helpful.

I find the practice of tuning into my breath and body really beneficial, whether you are of any particular faith or not.

I also find the time I am feeding my daughter to be a very special and intimate time.  I give a prayer of thanks and love, sometimes silently and sometimes by just speaking out loud "Thank You, I Love You."  My daughter seems to always enjoy it.  You can also do breath and body scan exercises as you feed your child, if you are interested in more the meditative practices. 

little moments

"silence of night"

breaths slow

bodies rest

a hushed

silence 

falls

upon

the

world

(Poem I wrote on: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1064653/silence-of-night/)

It's been almost 3 weeks of being a stay at home dad, and I'll have to say that it's the best "job" I've ever had.  Also, I've enjoyed spending days with my wife and daughter, on the week days where she does not have to work; when we were both working, it was difficult to just enjoy the day at a relaxed pace.

I have no deep spiritual reflections to impart or deep wisdom today.  ;). I was more musing about the little moments of silence that inhabit my day.  I am not talking about the silence that comes out of a hurtful word or a deadening silence, but the type of silence that's full of wonder, peace, and leaves you feeling more connected to yourself and the world.

Maybe it's because my days are spent in motion--singing, feeding, playing and walking--that I notice little glimpses of silence.  Sometimes it's an inner silence that comes from deep joy like a surprising moment when my daughter started to really belly laugh for the first time in my company.  The little moments on our walk where I notice the birds singing and move to a music only they can hear as they hop on the ground looking for food.

I live in the city, so actual silence is quite relative.  I hear the hum of tires on pavement outside our window as I put my daughter asleep.  But the hum becomes harmony to the beautiful melody of her quiet little breaths.  As I listen, I become more in touch with my own breath and the beating of my heart.

Some days I am less in tune with the little moments of silence that connects, and it seems I am going from thing to thing in a general state of panic.  Every parent knows the guy wrenching sound of their child crying, I mean really crying, after you've taken care of all their needs.  I feel totally helpless at that moment, but my own experience has thought me if I keep being there with love and calm, my daughter relaxes into my chest.  

I feel sometimes like I am a baby throwing a tantrum, because I wonna.  I push away from a loving parent, but when I relax I can rest in the warmth of a loving Divine Presence and listen to the heart beats of life.  It is strange that when I am in tune with interior silence, the noise of the world seems like less chaotic junk, but a strange music.

I am writing this entry as my daughter gently sleeps on my chest on a Tuesday morning.  Our cat Hermione is cozier up on top of my legs and I can feel her warmth.  I hear my daughter's breathin and I can feel the weight of her gently caressing me.  I am grateful for today and for the gift of being able to receive the day with all its wonder and silence.